Thursday, July 5, 2012
I hate to think of how much time I’ve wasted on a floatation device manufactured completely out of fear. How many days have I been too afraid to walk away from the safety of the shore and stick my aching feet into the refreshing, cool waters of God’s grace? There have been many I’m ashamed to say. Isn’t it amazing the things God gives us freely yet we still don’t believe we deserve them? There are so many things I still want, desperately need and yet an overwhelming sense of guilt sometimes prevents me from going to the throne with confidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m wholly aware of my rights and privileges as a Child of God, through His Word and yet I still find myself hesitating when asking for what I want, what I need and more importantly, what his Word says I deserve. Funny isn’t it? Especially when God has a proven track record of keeping His Word, delivering His promises and granting His favor irrespective of who we are. In the past several months, I’ve felt like God has been teaching me a valuable lesson. I believe wholeheartedly that He is insisting that I stand up and be heard and not shy away from using those gifts He has graciously placed within me without revocation. It hasn’t always been easy to do, but I’m hoping to get better at it. It’s weird to think that somehow I may be boring God asking Him for what His Word already says I can have. There hasn’t been a day in the 41 years I’ve lived when God wasn’t willing to help me walk across unchartered waters in order to fulfill His purpose. There have been several days where I’ve just been completely unwilling to get my Gluteus Maximus off the beach towel and head towards the deep and mysterious end of the ocean. You know the place where the sharks are. Fear, doubt, condemnation and guilt are powerful tools. They undermine our faith invariably keep us holding onto where we are instead of reaching where we should be. Why do we seem to find such comfort in burying our gifts, talents, and even our questions in the obscurity of the sand? I believe it is because the sand allows us to simply build castles in the sand we can always look at rather sail right past the intangible. I sense in my spirit, that I am being stirred up to finish the book, sing the song, write the screenplay, and use all of the words, big and small to change lives. The intangible is the place God needs me the most to touch lives. The confines of the shore are just too safe, too predictable and too stationary for the dynamic force that is God. So today, I resolve within myself to relinquish the last bit of apprehension so I can set sail.