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Thursday, May 19, 2011

If The World Doesn't End On Saturday!

 If you need the DATE of Jesus' return, you're NOT prepared!


 If the world doesn't end Saturday, "Lucy, you've got some explaining to do!" ~Ricky Ricardo

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, ask for a refund for buying this HYPE!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, the bank said my car note is still due on Sunday!

 Remember Boys & Girls, if the world doesn't end on Saturday, you're still required to SMILE!

 If the world doesn't end on Saturday, don't forget to stick a pin in your inflated ego!

 If the world doesn't end on Saturday, don't forget to sue your MIS "Fortune Teller"!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, will you pray on Sunday?

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, don't let all those cans of sardines and potted meat go to waste!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, can I have your Happy Meal toy?

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, let's litter the world with love!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, can we take all those awful billboards advertising it down?

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, go see THOR in 3D!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please don't let your car insurance lapse!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, we still need to take better care of each other!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, Ladies keep your eyebrow threading appointments!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, Fellas, you still need a haircut!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, can I have your dessert?

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, are you preparing for the day it does?

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, and you've borrowed a DVD, CD, BOOK, or CUP of SUGAR, I want it back!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please consider the SOURCE!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, Starbucks please bring back the Pomegranate Frappuccino!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, don't forget to take your contacts out!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please make affordable health insurance available for everyone!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please STOP putting flyers on my car during worship service!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please familiarize yourself with your vehicle's turn signals!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please STOP wearing tank tops with your bra straps showing!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please START wearing flesh tone under garments!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please STOP lining your lips with BLACK eyeliner!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please STOP wearing pajamas in public!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, you're still responsible for providing snacks next week!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, YOU still need to read God's Word for yourself!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, I still plan to finish crocheting this hat!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, describing the Holy Bible as a complete fallacy and fiction MUST!

 If the world doesn’t end Saturday, God's thoughts don't run on a human time schedule!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, it will still take MONEY to do MINISTRY!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, you can still eat processed sugar, Trans fats, and red meat!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, your IN-LAWS are still coming for an extended visit!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, you still need to decide if you're going to heaven or hell!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, you're still required to finish High School!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, dividing the congregation into monetary denominations should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, Pyramid Schemes should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, snubbing people who aren't celebrities should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, double parking should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, SEX outside the covenant of marriage should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, XENOPHOBIA should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, AGEISM should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, SEXISM should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, you've got a load in the dryer that needs to be folded!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, Jesus' love for us all will remain unchanged

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, RACISM should!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, the clash of the cultures will resume!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, don't forget to water the plants!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, don't forget to pick up your Dry Cleaning!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, don't stop TITHING!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, the check you're floating will still bounce!

 If the world doesn't end Saturday, please turn in all your overdue Library books!

 If the world is ending Saturday, it's the only trip I don't have to pack for!

 If the world is ending Saturday, be sure you invite as many people as you can heaven!

 If you're worried about the world ending Saturday, maybe it's because you're not assured of your salvation!

 If the world doesn’t end Saturday, imagine the BEST case scenario Sunday!

Journal Entry 19 May 2011

Lord, according to the latest rumors the world is scheduled to end this Saturday. Hype in my humble opinion, is always sold to the HIGHEST bidder with the LOWEST beliefs about God.  If indeed the world is ending on Saturday, well God I have to tell you that this information sucks on so many levels. Why? For one thing, I just turned 40! I’ve been crocheting a hat all week and it is finally starting to come together. I also just joined a wine of the month club and I was really looking forward to becoming a wine aficionado. Whether it’s true or not, I am not worried, for I know in whom I believe.  Honestly God, as much as I want to spend an eternity in heaven with you, I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished everything I was created for. There are dreams I haven’t even slept on, that have to come true. There are people I have yet to reach. If anything this latest doomsday prediction brings with it a sense of urgency to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with everyone. We are living in terrifying times and people really are scared. It is those people I pray you make yourself known to. I’ve have been able to deduce from a few message board replies that the people most fearful of May 21, 2011, aren’t assured of their salvation and the rest simply don’t care because they don’t want to believe in you. People seem to have this “Smorgasbord” mentality when it comes to Religion. They want a little bit of Confucius, an extra helping of Buddha, a whole lot of Witchcraft and darkness and none of Jesus. This kind of mentality doesn’t work. One either believes ALL of your Word or NONE of your Word!   The world can’t end this Saturday. There are entirely too many people who do not yet know you. There are just as many people who claim to believe in you and don’t completely follow you as well. I know many people will reject Jesus’s message, but I think it’s only fair they have a chance to hear it from people who truly believe all of it. The panic surrounding this weekend does sort of put things in proper perspective. When people are faced with their own mortality, they tend to take stock of their lives. The only things that matter are the moments still left. Isn’t it funny how an ordinary word like death makes us appreciate the lives we often take for granted? I even commented on a message board that if this event brings people to a deeper and personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then so be it. I read through a lot of replies last night and I was astonished by how many people who still think of you as a “fairy tale” as fiction or a fallacy. What about all the misguided people who read Horoscopes, who believe in spells and incantations, who employ Soothsayers, Fortune Tellers, Psychics, and Mediums, weren’t they not made aware of the world’s impending doom? Of course not! No one knows the day or the hour not even Jesus and I hardly doubt heaven would broadcast the end of the world on YouTube. The number of people attracted to the “world’s” darkness and not the “Light” is going to increase. It grieves me to watch people fall away simply because they can’t fathom why you won’t change your mind about sin. WHAT people fear the most shows me WHO they mostly believe in. Before the world ends, Hell on earth is going to get much worse, as if that were not already the case. There are going to be many people tickling the ears of people who really just want to hear what makes them feel comfortable about whatever it is they’re doing. Satan’s lies about you are still circulating. Satan has been telling man that he can become God for years, and man in his arrogance, still believes it.

Amazed by Your Grace!

“If man can’t believe in the SOVEREIGNITY of God, how can he believe in man’s SUPREMACY” ~April Lashon