Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Mother’s Day might be over, but the affection a Mother often feels for her children never ends. I am watching my children blossom into adulthood and I am so proud of the people they have become. What the world needs most are people who will change how things have always been done. My children are the perfect candidates for ushering in the best and the brightest. I love that my babies are confident, sensitive, self-driven, purposed, highly intelligent, ambitious, opinionated, and very easy on the eyes. I wonder if my children know how many times I’ve kicked myself for decisions I made. Some of my decisions were good, many of them were bad, and the rest, well I don’t exactly know what category they belong in. I think as a parent I did my best and I always hoped my decisions didn’t leave a significant amount of scarring. I was so young, so immature and so wounded when I gave birth to them. I wonder if they will ever know they didn’t come with any instructions and many of my mistakes stemmed from not really having parents either. Oh I grew up with two parents in the home but, neither of them seemed overly concerned about me or how their lack of concern outside of the public’s eye would affect me. I don’t want to second guess every decision I made, because it negates the fact that God says everything will work out for their good.
I think we all emulate in adulthood publicly what we have seen in our childhood privately. I grew up around a lot dysfunction, confusion, secrets, denial and selfishness. It has taken every bit of strength I have not to succumb to the hopelessness I’ve often felt. What it has taken is my personal relationship with the Lord to know generational curses can be broken. You can put pretty furniture around it, lots of ruffles and ribbons on it, but it is what it is. It was not a FAMILY it was a complete FARCE! I see a lot of what I didn’t have growing up in my children but I am so thankful they have fared better. I am trying now with everything in me to give them what I’ve gotten from the Lord, a determined resolve to make it in spite of. My prayer is that one day my children realize I can’t change the circumstances in which they or I had to grow up in. I can however, tell them that God can help them in ways a Mother, Father, Uncles and Aunts and even Grandparents can’t.
To Dionte` My Spirited Son, Success is in your near future. Your self-determination and the consistent setting and reaching of your goals inspire me to reach out and try again. Love, Mommy
To Bria, My Darling Daughter, Your bright eyes, sparkling personality and charismatic sense of humor is already causing a spark. Wherever you walk in life, I will look for your blazing trail. God loves YOU and He will speak to you when you’re ready to listen. Love, Mommy
I am so proud of you both and I firmly believe that both of you will become world changers. Having you in my life right now has softened my resolve. I appreciate the fact that you accept that though I am not a “Soccer Mom”, that I am still your Mother. No one can ever change the fact that though I birthed you, God is the one who is going to bless you. The glory for the people you have become belongs to the Lord alone. He is the one who hears my prayer requests concerning you. He is the one who stays up late to make sure you sleep through the night. He is the one who listens to the words you dare not speak aloud. He is the one who will make sure your path in life remains lit. Lord, I wanted to especially thank you for helping me to raise our children. They have both turned out far better because you taught me that they are only gifts on loan from heaven.