Monday, April 26, 2010
Lord I love getting up early in the morning and spending those first few moments of my day with you. I’m always assured on the days I do this my day will turn out wholly different than if I hadn’t. I was thinking about how different I am right now as opposed to last year at this same time. Is it really possible to grow so much just from deciding to “choose” you over everything else? I felt you in the gentle breeze that caressed my body as I rounded the track today. I knew you were “speaking” to me because the wind which is normally harsh and threatening sounded like a friendly whisper. Is it possible 16 weeks have passed by so rapidly? I’m so glad I not only I hear your voice, but I listen for it as well. Well the stage has already been set for the rest of this year. I don’t think it’s by happenstance that my life couldn’t have progressed any further until I found another place to worship you. There’s a “freedom” in being able to worship in the “unique” way in which I was created. I have an expressive, creative, artistic, sensitive, spirit and now I feel like its flourishing. No longer do I feel like everything you placed in me is being “snuffed” out by the guise of religion. I’m reminded as I type of what my name means. It’s taken me a long time to embrace the significance of my name and why you chose it for me. Somehow “April” either fits or I grew into it, and I mean that in a “spiritual” context. I wanted to take a moment to thank you for anyone who has offered me sound counsel in recent weeks. Knowing there are those who I can call upon has been instrumental in helping me grow personally. There many things coming up Lord I wish to discuss with you. When things get a little “cloudy” I know I need get away for a while and gain some clarity. Even though I’m a “bachelorette”, and I live alone, there’s another kind of “solitude” I get only from your presence. I’ve noticed Lord that my tolerance for the “things of this world” gets lower and lower with each passing day. I bet no one would believe I don’t even watch television anymore. I’ve had to break more than a few “ungodly soul ties” with people unable to pick one side of the fence and stay on it. It is so disheartening to see to see the times we’re living in and how this “sense of urgency” to align their lives with you isn’t shared by all. Choices have to be made...wrong or right, good or bad, lust or love, heaven or hell. My “contacts” shorten by the week as I ask you to “continually” remove people from my life. Going forward Lord there are things I didn’t believe were possible for me like love. When I talked to my sister this morning it made me cry when she shared how my brother-in-law expressed his love “publicly” for her. With tears in my eyes, I told my sister that I “want that” someday. Since you turned me into such a “lady” it’s only fitting you send me a “gentleman”. I hope my future husband is a lot like you. You are always willing to listen to me, you encourage me, you make me smile, you protect me , you provide for me, you let me cry, you make me feel so beautiful…..My sister told me today be to “be ready”. I told her I will. I’m ready to cook, I’m ready to hold hands, I’m ready to have his arms around me the rest if my life. The devil led me to believe I couldn’t have it, but then I met you Lord and you changed everything. I only ask this, that he always put me second only after you!
Amazed by Your Grace!