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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hindering Heartbreak?


So I’m in the bookstore today and an acquaintance of mine comes over to me. She is positively glowing about something. I literally thought she’d burst if I didn’t ask her why she was so happy. She asks me if I would like to hear a “love story”. I’m like “sure” why not? With exaggerated hand movements, she goes on to tell me about a man she knew over 35 years ago and how he’d suddenly resurfaced in her life. So I’m all excited listening as she sojourns down memory lane. She tells me how they’ve been seeing each other (seeing each other to include making snow angels, walks in the park, and kissing). I’m all excited for her and I begin to ask questions about the guy, you know “normal” questions women ask each other when a guy has her all excited. I begin to listen closely to her answers, noting how incredibly vague they are. So I ask the $64,000 question, “IS HE MARRIED”? The look on her face could melt snow. What rendered me speechless wasn’t her admission this guy was in fact married but that she could care less about his wife. Can a person be approaching 60 and be that dense simultaneously? I asked her but it reverberated through my mouth more like a statement, “are you nuts?” This woman is almost 60 and I couldn’t believe I had to explain to her why she couldn’t date a married man. I tried to be as non-judgmental as I could without sounding too “preachy”. I flat out told her that this is not a love story but a nightmare. I didn’t stop there but proceeded with a litany of questions about her “love story”.


1. Does his wife know?
2. Do you get that “lust” “loneliness” and “love” are three very different things?
3. Are you having sexual relationships with this man
4. Is this relationship worth your peace?
5. How would you feel if you were the wife?
6. Why don’t you care more about yourself?
7. Do you understand this man is a liar?
8. How do you feel afterwards when he returns home to his wife?
9. Do you think he’s really going to marry you?
10. Why do you keep involving yourself in these types of situations?

I’m watching her jaw drop as she searches for the right words to rationalize her poor choices again. I suspect I’ll be waiting until she can begin to deal with her low regard of herself. I remember being in a similar “love story”! Where is my knight in shining armor? He’s probably still with his wife, the wife he told me he was leaving too I suppose. So ladies, just remember you deserve better from every man you allow into your life. If a man can “talk you out of your panties, he can talk you out of your promise”. God promises the best for us but you can only know this if you determine you want the best for yourself.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Writing Out Loud:The Jack5ons: Now What?


I believe a 2cd season is in the works and I bet Randy will be appearing in it. The decision to “postpone” or cancel the concert came as no big shock it was apparent from the very beginning. I think the brother’s still need to grieve collectively and individually. I’m laughing because when they were all in the studio with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. I kept having flashbacks of Johnny Cash. What is up with all the “dark” clothing? Terry Lewis stated it best the brother’s are truly going to have to “work” things out on their own. The leadership displayed by Terry Lewis and Jimmy Jam was what I’d hoped to see from the brothers. They asked questions, important questions. The longest journey invariably is always inward and there’s no mistaking “issues” have to be “worked out” before they “walk out” on stage. This final episode was bittersweet but printed indelibly in my mind is though they may not be The Jackson 5 in the “traditional” sense they will always be brothers and they will always be family.
Jermaine “Pop Yo Collar”- Is it me or does Halima agitate you just a little every time she “subtly suggests” Jermaine “do” something or “say” something that may affect his brothers in ways she couldn’t possibly comprehend? I don’t know if it was careful editing or some “Jermagical” transformation, but Jermaine, in just a few short weeks seemed to come “full circle”. In my estimation as far as the musical side of things, Jermaine clearly is the leader. He does seem to possess the wherewithal to see this project to the end. Jermaine seemed like a shrewd politician at first getting everybody on board but I hope his “let’s show em rhetoric” isn’t lost in all of his colorful scarves.
Tito “Take Me as I Am”- Musicians always seem to have a unique camaraderie. This is one thing he and Jermaine share and just maybe Jackie and Marlon “resent” it just a little. Next to Jermaine, Tito is going to keep the music alive. I think being a musician keeps him in an entirely different frame of mind. I kept looking at his house and wondering what’s missing? I did notice one thing: Tito didn’t look at his “lady friend” nearly with the same intensity as he did that darn guitar.
Marlon “Makin Big Moves & Smiles"- As always I was impressed that Marlon avails himself to his family. Throughout this series one theme was unmistakable, this passive aggressive behavior between the brothers. It varied from lowered voices, to bowed heads and no direct eye contact. Yes Marlon makes a lot of jokes but listen closely and he’s really making “huge” statements with the very things he jokes about. Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with humor but why doesn’t he feel comfortable unleashing what’s really in his heart?
Jackie “Sexy Sensitive”- I will say it again, this man is a Taurus through and through (his birthday is 4 days after mine). I just wanted to scream “just do yo doggone thang then” Jackie conveniently seems to view things in “black or white.” There is no “gray” area and he has no problem changing, breaking, or making the rules when it suits his “personal” agenda. Though the moment was priceless, I doubt Jermaine putting him on speakerphone was anything other than excitement over finally accomplishing something musically. I love Jackie but a lot of the time his answers are ambiguous. He makes statements but his actions/follow through are in direct contradiction to them. Okay will somebody please tell me what is so freaking difficult about having “multiple” producers on a record? I completely understood his reservations about being “branded” with “Janet’s signature sound”, but at the same time he just languishes in the “I’m the big brother role” without taking “real” action. The Jacksons work well “under pressure” I believe is what he stated at the very onset of this series. I just hope the “pressure” doesn’t “vaporize” all together in complacency. Being a big brother doesn’t imply that you always get your way. Wars need warriors but there is nothing wrong with compromise or input from others.