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Friday, July 2, 2010

Journal Entry 02 July 2010

Lord In a few days I will begin a new journal. I’ve been writing in journals for years and every time I close one out I become preoccupied with the one that doesn’t have a single entry in it. I wonder about all the events that will shape what’s written down. Some things take so long to process I can never fully explain it even with my boundless vocabulary. I do believe the first entry in a new journal sets the tone for all others. Lord, it sort of reminds me of how I get up every morning making sure that the first words I utter are now to you. The words I sow produce either a bountiful or a pitiful harvest. This is why I am careful to acknowledge you as the sole reason I have anything to write about.
Some entries are reminiscent of Jesus’ parables, simple short stories that have a point, others go on and on. One thing still holds true, I have tangible proof of many bad days and just as many good ones. As I embark on yet another leg of my journey, I leave many behind. I believe this next phase of my life won’t require as many people as my last one did. Suffice it to say, some family, friends, and foes won’t be permitted to travel with me any further. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just done with foolishness. My course has been set, my steps ordained. Sadly I keep finding that the easiest way to let some people go is simply to drop them. What puzzles me is that some people will still refuse to get the hint.  Though there are days where I still find myself very preoccupied, there are others when my mind is undisturbed by the extensive amount of information I process each day. I love our early morning excursions. I enjoy looking at the world before man awakens each day. I’ve lost count of how many miles I’ve logged but I never forget your presence is all that matters. Lord you haven’t changed, you are changing me. I continue to see this continuing theme as it is woven throughout my life. I think a new journal makes another statement, that I can only live from moment to moment. This explains why the days several entries can fall under a single day. I wish to be more mindful of my moments, somehow hoping they count in eternity. Whatever happens in my life, should I feel nostalgic with a high degree of certainty I will never look at my journals and find one day in which you weren’t
Amazed by Your Grace!

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