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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hindering Heartbreak?

So I’m in the bookstore today and an acquaintance of mine comes over to me. She is positively glowing about something. I literally thought she’d burst if I didn’t ask her why she was so happy. She asks me if I would like to hear a “love story”. I’m like “sure” why not? With exaggerated hand movements, she goes on to tell me about a man she knew over 35 years ago and how he’d suddenly resurfaced in her life. So I’m all excited listening as she sojourns down memory lane. She tells me how they’ve been seeing each other (seeing each other to include making snow angels, walks in the park, and kissing). I’m all excited for her and I begin to ask questions about the guy, you know “normal” questions women ask each other when a guy has her all excited. I begin to listen closely to her answers, noting how incredibly vague they are. So I ask the $64,000 question, “IS HE MARRIED”? The look on her face could melt snow. What rendered me speechless wasn’t her admission this guy was in fact married but that she could care less about his wife. Can a person be approaching 60 and be that dense simultaneously? I asked her but it reverberated through my mouth more like a statement, “are you nuts?” This woman is almost 60 and I couldn’t believe I had to explain to her why she couldn’t date a married man. I tried to be as non-judgmental as I could without sounding too “preachy”. I flat out told her that this is not a love story but a nightmare. I didn’t stop there but proceeded with a litany of questions about her “love story”.

1. Does his wife know?
2. Do you get that “lust” “loneliness” and “love” are three very different things?
3. Are you having sexual relationships with this man
4. Is this relationship worth your peace?
5. How would you feel if you were the wife?
6. Why don’t you care more about yourself?
7. Do you understand this man is a liar?
8. How do you feel afterwards when he returns home to his wife?
9. Do you think he’s really going to marry you?
10. Why do you keep involving yourself in these types of situations?

I’m watching her jaw drop as she searches for the right words to rationalize her poor choices again. I suspect I’ll be waiting until she can begin to deal with her low regard of herself. I remember being in a similar “love story”! Where is my knight in shining armor? He’s probably still with his wife, the wife he told me he was leaving too I suppose. So ladies, just remember you deserve better from every man you allow into your life. If a man can “talk you out of your panties, he can talk you out of your promise”. God promises the best for us but you can only know this if you determine you want the best for yourself.

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