Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Journal Entry 09 December 2009
What you say about me must be true! Why else would the enemy use so many people to come against me? I’m paying attention too. They “look” and “act” the same. Why? They share a “familiar” spirit”. In varying degrees, they’ve all attacked me in the same way. They started out pretending to be one way and ended up being another. Much to my chagrin, I played right into their hands allowing them to use their leverage and position to further sabotage me. They did it from the inside. This is not coincidence or happenstance if people really paid attention. It takes a concerted effort to go about destroying a person’s life. It’s ugly and it’s evil! One of Satan’s greatest achievements is convincing Christians he isn’t in the church. I like your brand of justice and I’m watching you vindicate me right in the midst of naysayers. You are using the very judgment they’ve reserved for me and you’re showing them themselves. When people dislike you it’s usually something they dislike in themselves. When people lie on you, it usually is something they’re doing themselves. That’s why I don’t have to fight so hard and that is why many people can’t do anything but be quiet. Silence really is the best mirror in which to see ourselves. I know who you say I am! The enemy knows who I am too. His orders are to kill, steal, and destroy me. In a sick way it’s flattering to see what “they” come up with next. It’s also interesting watching “them” turn on each other as they go. Thank you Lord because you showed me nearly two years ago but I didn’t understand it then. People don’t want to see that you’ve already removed the biggest piece of this puzzle. It’s a daunting task watching a person be assassinated by people they trust, people right under their noses. You feel powerless to stop it because you know they won’t believe you. They’ve been seduced by the very spirit trying to kill me but all we have to do is ask you to show us who people really are. Look past all the smoke, and you can see me standing.
How do you do it Lord? Always showing up right on time even though you exist out of time? Last night there was such a sweet spirit in that gymnasium. I’ve noticed lately that I’ve had a greater sense of your presence without all the hoopla. I like it! I like it a lot! You are everywhere but it’s much easier to find you without all the bells and whistles. Last night’s Bible Study was intimate. It was the raw emotion in the man of God’s voice that glued me to the edge of my seat. I could barely contain myself hearing confirmation of things we talk about. In hindsight we all pressed our way through sleet and traffic Lord to get to you. We all needed peace, even the man of God. I had to thank him. He didn’t look at me or talk to me like he didn’t give a crap. He didn’t pretend to listen. He didn’t throw my mistakes in my face. He didn’t talk down to me. He didn’t treat me like I was keeping him from something else. He treated me like a leader that was concerned about those he leads. Isn’t it true leaders serve you by leading those they serve? Last night, we all needed to know that we can endure. That’s what he told me, that I can endure! I know what love looks like now! I know what love feels like now! I know what love sounds like now! Love can’t be faked and love can’t be scripted. Love has to be demonstrated! Love has to be expressed! Love has to be reciprocated! Love has to be received! Love has to be shown! Love starts and ends with you! It’s the adhesive that hold us all together. Darkness will always try to disguise itself as light. I know the difference now Lord and it’s your very spirit making the darkest of days bright.
Amazed by your grace!