Friday, October 23, 2009
Victims Have Choices
You know the truth will set you free but first it may piss you off. I will continue to say “Victims Have Choices” until someone believes it. I have two friends in terrible situations. Do you have a moment? A synopsis of the situation if you will~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of my friends has chosen to cohabitate with a man that is NOT her husband. Just today I was informed she was terminated from her job. Her life to everybody BUT her just seems to keep spiraling out of control. How bad will this get before she can finally see her worth? When she and her husband separated four years ago I supported her, I listened to her. This situation now with this man that is NOT her husband, I can’t condone nor will I help her justify it. It is NOT going to work. I remind her all the time that we can’t bring God’s Word down to our level to fit our lives. I can’t in good conscience tell her anything else but God’s truth. I wonder why she calls at all when she knows she CAN”T coddle me into celebrating this ever increasing HOT>FUNKY>MESS.
The other friend is also in a bad situation one that involves domestic violence. It’s hard to watch her weep and mourn for a man that beats the crap out o f her. She didn’t or wouldn’t call the police. Needless to say someone else did and now he’s in jail. I explained to this friend now is perhaps an excellent time to extract herself from this chaotic mess. Again how bad will this have to get? I offered my home and other resources (shelters, abuse hotline etc.) to her. If this man gets out of jail and she goes back to him at what point am I exonerated from giving a damn?
Thank God for my sister who gives really wise counsel. She told me to continue to pray, continue to listen, and to continue to help if I can. I feel as though I am being a very good friend but I have to set limits and boundaries. Though both of these friend’s stories vary, I believe they both still have choices. They can choose NOT to be victims and choose to be victorious! I love both of them enough to tell them there’s no freaking way these men love you. Any man a woman has to constantly make excuses for gives me reasons to ponder. So I say again “Victims Have Choices”!