My Joy Is Contagious Make Sure You Catch It!

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Journal Entry 21 October 2009

Lord I appreciate always that I get to talk you whenever and however I can. I ‘m glad we got a chance to spend some time together this week at our “spot” these past couple days. Things are better than ever in my life but there are two issues I need your guidance and direction on. It’s imperative Lord! Like RadioShack, I’ve got questions and YOU got the answers. Lord location and church: these are two major issues I need some clarity on. I got this sinking suspicion that I should be somewhere else. How long Lord will I have to live here? I miss the sun shining on me nearly year round. I miss family scattered in warmer climates. I miss my best friend. I miss only having to wear a light jacket as a “winter coat”. Can I go now Lord? Is there a one-way ticket out of here?

I thought about where I was last year. You remember don’t you? I left church last October and didn’t return until this past April. Well I got that itch again. I feel like I am suffocating here. I don’t want to be turned into another “cookie cutter” Christian. Do you think I joined purely out of emotionalism? It seems like the novelty of this church has completely worn off and my eyes are just wide open. I sit Lord and watch people who are so threatened by my anointing do any and everything they can to abort the blessings I am carrying. The gifts you gave me. I can’t do it anymore! I am just ready to move on. Like Gideon, I guess I am soliciting YOU for a sign. I don’t want to “rot” here in this city or another church.  There has to be someplace Lord, someplace else where you could use me. Isn’t there? This is “their” church, clearly it is. Let them have it! I don’t want anybody’s seat, anybody’s ministry or anybody’s position. I only want what YOU said is mine. I just don’t think I’ll be able to get it here. I only want to be where I am supposed to be.  How can I make this petition to YOU any plainer?  I’m ready to go Lord!  I’ve been ready to go just send me!

Amazed by Your Grace!

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