Tuesday, January 27, 2009
$200.00 for my abortion! $8.00 for a box of good condoms! Consequences for not investing in the condoms....... priceless!
I had grown up with all the creature comforts but now I was trying to make it with my son. So without the approval of my mother, who for lack of a better word was better at keeping up appearances, I moved into a one bedroom apartment in a low income neighborhood. My son and I lived on a meager budget of only $409 per month.
Although I grew up in a house with two parents, two cars, plenty of food, clothes and toys, my son and I made a game out of chasing the cockroaches in our humble abode. After several weeks of gunshots it wasn’t long before we had to move.
He laid the money on the nightstand like I was a just another chick. It was 1991 and I’d met who I thought was the “GUY” that I thought this time “loved” me. This time I just knew “it” would last because he was a Sergeant in the Marine Corps, Honor, Courage, and Commitment right? Wrong! Even in 1991 I could tell no one except my best friend from high school that I was pregnant again. I already had a son and though I’d “slipped” up I did have plans for my life. She agreed to take the hour long bus ride with me to the Planned Parenthood Clinic to have the procedure performed.
I remember feeling so scared as I braved all the belligerent Anti- Abortion protestors that lined the street calling me everything except the name on my birth certificate. I remember how cold and impersonal the Planned Parenthood building was, nothing at all like that brochure described. The nurse literally treated me like killing my baby was as routine as buying a gallon of milk. I remember laying on that table and the doctor, he was white elderly man. There was no warmth in his eyes, and his smile appeared forged. Again nothing at all like the brochure described. I tried to remain calm as they turned on the machine that would suck my baby from my womb. It was over in minutes, sort of like the sex and the relationship with the Marine.
My friend and I rode home in an awkward silence sharing a special bond. She’d had an abortion before. I knew there would be residual spotting and some discomfort they were sure to put that in the colorful brochure. The Planned Parenthood Brochure didn’t say anything about the years of emotional havoc I would endure as a result of putting my feet in those stirrups. Just recently I’ve come to terms with the abortion I had in 1991. I confessed to God that I was sorry for taking life that He gave. He told me that I was forgiven. I never placed much value on that baby’s life until God showed me in a dream that my baby I aborted is in heaven standing at Heaven's gate waiting for me along with my deceased father and brother. I'm comforted to know my baby is with its Granfather and Uncle who both left this world so young so they have thier youth to chase a baby around heaven. When I made the decision the only one I thought I could at that time, God sent his angels to carry my baby to heaven and I’ll see my baby again. That’s good news for someone struggling to come to terms with something you may have done in the past. God knew and He still loves you too. Unplanned parenthood but God’s plans for me are still good (Jer 29:11).