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Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 7

Monday 1:01am



Dilated eyes fixed on the podium big like a deer


In my estimation I've earned the girl’s tears


Transparency cancels pretense an eased conscience wearable and sheer


I hammer the ladies with anecdotes of the past and recent years


Sharing individual stories are shared over Kleenex and hugs not pretzels and beer


Sex, lies, and videotape maybe too much for an "untouched" virgin's ears


The secrets in this room beg for a politician's campaign to smear


Sisters openly discussing everything no subject is a road we won't veer


Holding hands through our darkness so the "light" at the end of the tunnel for all is clear


Convinced that triumph is attainable in unison, we rise and cheer


Tuesday 2:02am


Born at different times, yet our souls are the same age


They give me purpose keep me on an even page


I'm still cute and Power Point earns me a livable wage


Helping consumes the void where there was only hate


Agape love won't be confined or locked in a cage


Life, the place you don't get to practice before you go on stage


The pressure of living is too hard to gauge


Spontaneous combustion is possible given enough rage


If I can get one girl through this day


She will get up tomorrow and stare a bright future in the face


We are all molded by the "Great Potter" fashioned out of marred clay


AIDS hasn't claimed me after "HIS" righteousness I chase


Victory came by learning the error of my ways


Now I go to life instead of work and still get paid


No longer condemned by the choices I made


I continue helping young girls feel the same


I teach them about the man with the unforgettable name


Jesus Christ, the healer of all my pain


The eraser of all my shame


This Jewish man responsible for all my "foreign" aid


Like Barack Obama I vow to finish a "historical" race


Locked on target like my man Max Payne


Krispy Kreme doughnuts that unforgettable glaze


I eat a whole dozen fat grams can't take joy's place


Wednesday 3:03pm


I use to pray as often as I paid the water bill


God seemed like a distant relative, not a Father I could feel


The course before me a mountain not a mole hill


"He" forgave me after the life I've lived, the blood I spilled


Dying to belong when it was sinful desires I had to kill


Regret is a quota I hope I never fill


If guilt could I know “it” would send me a bill


Check my till


Not empty still


I was born with an unrelenting will


To live abundantly, go to heaven then chill


I'm still cute, reclaiming my life right now is my latest thrill


Thursday 4:04am


Like a ravaging cancer that has spread to my other breast


Negative thoughts still creep assaulting my rest


Dreams of my youth wasted with a pimp in a velvet vest


I laugh at AIDS thinking it's my final test


Money divides classes of people, but sex adds them in the same bed


The naughty deal done we fly back to our segregated nests


Friday 5:05am


Most of the men I slept with, if known would headline tomorrow's news


Hush money did more than make me quiet it coerced me to be mute


I was always fearful that my skeletons will jump out and say boo


"Lynn Moore" is my real name but "whore" was the "one" I answered to


The "John's" who paid for me had the power sex was a power tool


Benjamin Franklin gave me my cues


Thousands of 3 minute love affairs no wonder my body feels used


Say what you want, I paid some hefty dues


"John" or "Jane" can’t throw money and get me to what they want me to do


Legal living pays the least a clear conscience and pays dividends never taught in school


Getting up and going to life, not work, a 401K with eternal returns cool


The "she" living in my head evicted on the 12th of June


I served "her" notice after the Holy Spirit challenged "her' to a duel


All my "demons" have been exorcised, drowning in redemption's pool


Salvation is a choice. Sanctification is an entirely different process too


I don't need the comfort of a man I can make it through


Feeling so good I assassinated my flesh it was the perfect coup


Smiles linger on my face like early morning dew


"Lynn Moore" the former whore, journaling new rules


Saturday 6:06pm


An election season at the end, things start to get colder


Changing like John McCain as I scour my new client's folders


Seated in eerie silence feigned toughness rolls like a Colorado boulder


The sullen face of one girl strikes me mentally I reach out to hold her


Condemnation over everything "she" is the clay that molds her


Refusing to give up, I repeat they shall live their lives like its golden


Life comes full circle. The more you know you grow a little bolder


Sunday 7:07am


Journaling thoughts helps me understand what all of this means


Gripping the rails skating in small circles afraid to let go in the rink


Falling still trying to hold on I get up and don't blink


Some things I did because I could, others because I didn't think


Swallowing pills sensing good and bad angels on the scene


The whole bottle I didn't want to feel another thing


Bad angels chased me to death. Good angels chased life back into me


The entire bottle I still managed to stand on my feet


AIDS lies dormant basically balled up in a sheet


Jesus is wholly responsible for "Lynn Moore" needs


I'm cured of my "Fetish" I can't wear your clothes anymore Eve


No more paw prints I cover my tattoos with tailored sleeves


I purr like a conservative Republican not a liberal Democrat in a frenzied heat


Before I dress I caress good vibes positive words feel better than tweed


Weren't you ever taught that "nothing" is what it seems


The mind wanders to places never knowing where those places lead


Are you baffled at how a "whore" could be exonerated of murder in 7 weeks


Imagine my face when I realized this "Diary" was a 49 day dream

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