My Joy Is Contagious Make Sure You Catch It!

I always tell people that any day above ground is a good day! I hope your day is wonderful and blessed! Feel free to share your thoughts!
Thanks for stopping by!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Get It Together By Sunday!

I got to get it together by Sunday!
Because I've got more battles to fight on Monday
You say my troubles will be over someday
Lord, I wish today were the last day
This year, was it supposed to turn out this way?
With endless trials that came to steal my joy away?
Cry and ask Why? Is just about all that I can say!
I got to get it together by Sunday
Just so I can make it to bible study on Tuesday
And ask again for mercy for everyday
Lord, I can't see what you see on any given day
When night turns to morning will today be a better day?
Will I have it together by Sunday?
So that I can receive my crown one day!
I'll have it together by Sunday
Because you told me to rejoice in you always
Not because I made an appearance at church on Sunday
Did I thank you Lord already for this day?
Before I start worrying about a new day
I couldn't live without you Lord on any day
Every day you allow me to see is a good day
Because your blood carried all that was not like you away
The power is in my mouth, every word that I say
I even claim next Sunday is a good day
For the rest of my life every day is a good day!
Thank you Lord for this day!
I got it together a few more days and it’ll be Sunday

Monday, December 15, 2008

Bounce Back Woman

Much to my chagrin I discovered that my inner child still lives when she encouraged me to buy a toy recently. At the time I was unaware that something that cost $3.99 and made entirely of rubber could add much to my adult life. What on earth could’ve possessed me to buy a ball? Why not a Barbie? Why not that new Blackberry Storm? Why not that delicious new MAC eye shadow? I always seem to learn my lessons from the abstract or informal things so I knew it would only be a matter of time with this ball. I do remember growing up in Louisiana when not throwing a ball seemed sacrilegious.
You should see me now, I’m like an over protective pit bull when I can’t find my ball. I’ve even taken to sleeping with my ball. Now instead of reaching for the remote control or chocolate, I reach for my ball to wind down after a taxing day. In place of the hug I should’ve gotten, I squeeze my ball. The job that I didn’t get, I throw the ball. The movie I can’t wait to see, I throw my ball high in the air with open hands waiting to catch it. I can only marvel at my new rubber friend’s tough resilience.
Many of my plans have gone awry so I’m trying my best to proceed with extreme caution as I prepare for this upcoming year. Oh believe me, I’ve long since gotten rid of the notion of unachievable New Year resolutions that are so laughable one would think I would think I was relegating myself to a life in a nunnery. One trait though I believe all women share is an uncanny ability to bounce back after extraordinary and sometimes dire circumstances. There is no creature on earth that can have her head hit an invisible glass ceiling day after day and continue to bounce back like she does.
I thought I bought the ball to test how strong the ball was. After careful examination I knew my ball chose me to see how strong I was. My ball was a symbol of who I was! No matter how I treated my ball like a good friend it didn’t bend, break, or budge under my pressure. If God was putting me through a test, it is not because He wanted to teach me something. It was a sure sign that He had already taught me something and now I am ready to get through the test because I have bounce back power!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Best Email I Got This Year!

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone.The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries. Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.If there was a welfare system in effect in the South at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job. The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck.The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel. An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep.This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money -- fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home. One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires!There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in ? I wondered.I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids . I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.On Christmas Eve, the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up. When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was a whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.Yes, there were angels in that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.... THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:1. 'Yes!'2. 'Not yet..' 3. 'I have something better in mind..' God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You may be going through a tough time right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine. This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Amen.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Stuck In The Middle

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle
Caught between life and death
I cry all the time
Walking a fine line in my mind
Because life right now, just seems to be such a mess

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle
Death, I decided I want to go
Life, I also decided I want to stay
Beckoning voices from every side
Life vs death, I 'm not sure what side of the line I'll fight on today

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle
At some point, I've really got to decide
Do I get up, put on all that heavy armor and fight for God
Or just lay here quietly for Satan and die

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle
God tells me I can
Satan tells me I can't
A double-minded mind can skew the lines
Do you wonder what side I've chosen yet?

I'm still stuck somewhere in the middle
The decision I'm told is really up to me
I ultimately decide and choose the final side
Unless the middle is where I want to be

But with God there is no middle
Even if in life, I often feel stuck
God only moves on HIS word
Not tears, not feelings, and not even the best of luck

I decide I don't want to be stuck in the middle
I send out an SOS, God can you help me?
Today I finally picked a side
Jesus I'm over here in the middle
I'm crying out for you, Save Me!

The Tongue Is The Pen

The tongue is the pen
The strokes of life are written by it
So watch what you write with your pen
The tongue is the pen
A very small member of the body
But yet does so much
So watch what you write with your pen
Some ink, the drops can be washed away quickly with soap and water
Some ink makes permanent stains
The pen that you write with can write your ticket
Or delay you right out of the gate
So watch what you write with your pen
Ink can’t always be easily erased once written
On life’s fabric ink can be unforgivable
So watch what you write with your pen
A good writer gets his ink from the Author of our Faith
He writes in red
A good writer does not worry about his pen
When not used to write something good
A good writer caps his pen
Use your pen only if yours does not smudge, smear, or bleed through
Put your pen away unless you have something good to write
The tongue is the pen
Be careful to write legibly
You will never be misunderstood
Read your own fine print
Use your own paper
The tongue is the pen of all things
Pertaining to life and death
The tongue is the pen
Write something good

Saturday, December 6, 2008

A Fresh Start

It snowed again today. I love how everything pretty, ugly, rich, poor ghetto or suburban all looks the same once it’s covered by snow. In a word the snow is beautiful. As I stand under a whimsical gazebo sipping hot chocolate I gaze into a frozen sea of forgetfulness. I’m starting to feel like I’m starring in the perfect winter postcard. Sometimes I like to see the snow, as God’s big eraser, sort of like forgiveness. Mistakes are inevitable, like the snow and changing seasons. It’s funny how something as simple as watching the snow fall made me think of God’s forgiveness. I watch the weather to see what the weather predictions for next week will be but not God’s forgiveness. I can ask for it every single time I need it. I’m assured that I have His forgiveness. No meteorologist can assure me of anything much less the fickle weather in Chicago.
If it snowed every single day for the rest of my life it couldn’t erase what Jesus did once on the cross for you and me. It is a very good thing that God sits high and looks low. God can see the road less traveled and even the one with all the potholes. Condemnation likes to dump itself on my freshly fallen snow melting the security of forgiveness that I know God wants me to have. Failure cruelly suggests to me that I can never get back up again. A newly fallen snow lets me know that I can always make fresh tracks. God’s forgiveness lets me know I can make a fresh start.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Call

Father I sense that I'm getting weary
Maybe I walked through the wrong door
Are You sending that wind of change in my life ?
It's dark ... I can't see
And my matches won't light anymore

Father can you understand my feelings?
All of it
Completely wears me out
Roadblocks in my path
Haters on my back
And I'm careening towards a door called doubt

Father, I'm anxious to see some changes
But everyday just seems to give me more of the same
I know we don't talk like we used to
But Father, please try and remember my name!

I'm April, and I think I know where things went wrong
I know I didn't cast down those negative thoughts
I gave pity a lavish, lavish party
And I forgot everything that You taught!

Please instruct me Father
As to how, I can get back on track
I've been called to do mighty work for You
Replenish anything that I may lack

Father I know there's a call on my life
Plain as day, I heard that call last year
Sometimes I do wonder why you chose me
Father? Why is it your call I fear?

Could it be my past?
That makes my haters laugh
That you would use someone messed up like me?
Father close the door on my enemies
Show them all what you see in me

Father who is on my side?
Isn't it finally time?
For me and the ones I'm called to meet?
But make sure they stay
And help me get to the place
Where I can help set some people free!

Father I'm still clueless as to why
You didn't choose some other guy
Still questioning and I'm a tad bit torn
You planned this before April 30, 1971
Ordered every one of my steps
All before I was born

There are so many gifts and talents
That you've placed in me
So many, that I'm unable to speak
I can sing, I can dance
I can act, and I can write
And now you've called me to preach!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Jezebel Go To Hell PT 2

Yeah that too.. EVERY EVIL DEED done to me
Pay attention DIVA it's the year 2007
And 7 means COMPLETE!
See while YOU were PRIMPING and pledging, & getting NO degree
Years ago, I was LEARNING about Leonidas
BEFORE the movie 300 and the Battle of Thermopylae!
You're TOO busy TRYING to KEEP me from my OWN family
So SELFISH that you are NEGLECTING your own
One KID needs to be in REHAB
The OTHER one WILL be "TURNED OUT " as soon as HE leaves home!
Your FLAMING husband is the TRUE QUEEN
When he aint with YOU
Seriously, just where do YOU think he goes?
GIRL he's swimming on BOTH sides of the lake
TRAPPED in the closet NOT He's been on the DOWN LOW!
Clothes, hair, and make-up BORING is that really ALL you got?
RUNNING young & old men like a TRACK STAR
You BURNIN Diva, & maybe that's why you THINK you so HOT!
You PERFORM well on your BACK
Stopping on SYCAMORE ONLY to get something to EAT
After COORDINATING outfits for the CHOIR
Your BEST work is done at your CONDO on your KNEES!
Claiming to be SO high maintenance
Any SUCKER with a COUPE and YOU get the MISTRESS'S very BEST
Pick your LATEST lover, let his GPS lead you to an EXPENSIVE frame
PRINT and display this NEWSFLASH ACROSS your COMCAST desk!
How long do YOU think GOD will let you HATE on ME & CHILL in MY MOTHER'S house?
Very SOON there's going to be some FURNITURE moving
I promise YOU Diva , I'm going STRAIGHT for your BIG ASS mouth!
My oh my, such LARGE features you have
I always thought that YOU LOOKED like a MAN?
I hear ARKANSAS is lovely ANY time of the year
Will be the BEST part of God's PLAN!
I see where YOU get IT from
YOU inherited YOUR daddy's WHOREMONGER charm
And WHERE was your daddy WHEN he died
Certainly NOT in his wife's arms!
I'm so GLAD your TIME is about up
Did you have fun PRETENDING being OUR family?
When you are ALL gone for GOOD
That will be a FAMILY NIGHT well worth a VICTORY!
YOU didn't have to HUNT very long I hope, MOST of this poem was written for YOU
Check your SPIRIT at the DOOR and ask the LORD
YOU will NEVER be MY MOTHER'S daughter
And Your sister will NEVER EVER take MY place
The best GIFT your family could give my family
It's an easy guess, two words, GO AWAY!
It is sad MY very EXISTENCE STILL gives YOU something to do
Really IT blows my mind, you can't get enough of APRIL
You and your played FREELOADING crew!
PLAYIN a role Monday through Saturday
Trying to CONVINCE "believers" that a HOLY GOD is always on your mind
Cruising MY MySpace profile
Strutting off the STAGE acting HOLY
PROUD to represent a damn SORORITY
You DID NOT even graduate
You OUGHT to be ASHAMED of yourself
Is what YOU should REALLY be calling yourself!
FLINGING yourself ALL over your sister's HUSBAND
People OFTEN ask me, IF you're SCREWING him TOO
I tell them, I really wouldn't put IT past YOU
That's just what JEZEBEL would do
DIVA you aren't FOOLING anybody
YOU shouldn't EVEN be on that stage
You've treated MY mother's HOUSE more like a BROTHEL
Then you MOCK God in Praise & Worship to HIS face
You've HAD too much of a GOOD thing
I believe that's WHY you're so JADED
Hands down I win with CLASS & LOOKS
Pretty much EVERYTHING
Face it DIVA, I got YOU faded!
I see YOU every Sunday
YOU and I BOTH know WHO & WHAT YOU are doing
They may THINK you're PRAISING God
The ENEMY you SLEEP with, is WHO you're pursuing
The heavenly RECORDER will be on
When YOU and the REST of my GROUPIES
Wonder, Could APRIL be possibly TALKING about ME?
WELL look at the fiery DART called your HAND
THREE of your fingers POINT back at YOU
Same HAND, but only ONE point at me!

Jezebel Go To Hell PT 1

IT has the voice of HONEY……IT oozes NICE and SLOW
But IT is a REALLY GOOD counterfeit
Someone YOU really DON'T want to know!
IT doesn't always wear makeup
And tramp AROUND like a first-class WHORE
STILL be very MINDFUL because it's ROTTEN
ROTTEN to the very CORE
IT circulates in every CHURCH circle
POSITIONING itsself for a FREE ministry ride
IT is nobody's friend EVER
But IT knows how to PLAY ALL sides!
IT plants EVIL seeds of DISCORD
And does IT in such a NICE way
IT will even make you DISTRUST what YOU know is RIGHT
While IT slithers quickly away!
IT can manifest itself in person,
Text, CALL or send an email
SHE isn't necessarily a SHE but
IT plays the Christian ROLE like a FIDDLE
Acting like IT isn't BEHIND a lot of the church MESS
IT will PRETEND to CARE for that NEEDY sister
And GOSSIP about the SAME sister's DRESS!
Jezebel's coming after ME me now
TRYING to bring me to MY spiritual KNEES
What Jezebel FAILS to realize is that I am DEEPLY rooted
And a mighty mighty GOD is backing ME!
To my face IT promotes me WELL
For someone you CAN'T seem to STAND very MUCH
MY name still comes out of YOUR mouth
Like an alcoholic with a PROBLEM
Or a DEMON-stalker with a SERIOUS demon CRUSH!
IT has evil IMPS who carry bibles TOO they LOOK really NICE
Check to see if IT masquerades on your PRAISE TEAM, USHER board,
Or even COUNTS your tithes!
Yeah, Jezebel, in everybody's face, LOW KEY with that TWISTED scripture,
SEDUCING the CABLE guy or an out of town MINISTER
WEAK mineded MEN just like Ahab, CONTENT at doing WRONG!
IT comes to CHURCH week after week
Out FRONT as usual, TRYING to FLAUNT and FLOSS
The BLOW you DEALT me last,you should be THANKFUL
KEEPS me from mailing a DETAILED LETTER to your BOSS!
Keeping QUIET, certainly that is not always what my FLESH wants to do
BUT God ALLOWS me to WRITE OUT LOUD occasionally when I need to vent ONE time or TWO!
Jezebel BEWARE, because YOU'VE been EXPOSED
DIGGING for DIRT during service HIDING in the BACK
God SHOWS me in ADVANCE what you SAY about ME
But the HOLY GHOST has way more TACT!
Man of GOD you better STEP up your A game
I really HOPE your spiritual EYES see
That this evil DEMON is RIGHT up UNDER your NOSE
And slowly KILLING the ministry!
IT spreads GOSSIP like a FIRE
Communion, speaks in tongues, IT can even SING and dance
Weekly IT MOCKS the God in ME
I sit, and watch EVIL BOLDLY lifting MANICURED hands!
As quickly as a MODEL changes outfits
As quickly as a well trained LIAR coughs
PRAISE so LEAKY on Sunday like a FAUCET
IT can turn it ON and OFF!
Please LEARN from the STORY of Jezebel
Because she OVERLOOKED one simple TRUTH
She FORGOT the eununchs by the WINDOW
Physically, they had no BALLS
But in 2 Kings 9 this QUEEN got the BOOT!
You're NOSY, I know you READ this far
CONVICTED, pissed even because YOU know this IT I speak of
Sounds A LOT really like YOU!
Just know that this IT is a DEMONIC spirit
The ALTAR where you RIDICULED me is where YOU do that TOO!
Jezebel got hers honey in the END
An evil QUEEN pushed to her death
DOGS licked up her cold EVIL blood
After the ONE TRUE GOD took her last EVIL breath!
You're what the BIBLE calls a temple WHORE
The MICROPHONE and STAGE is your Asherah pole
Praise & worship, a selection, the collection then BACK to the STRIPPER pole!
You treat God EVERY Sunday like HE is just a another GIG
Divas, pimps & punks FAKING worship that aint even cute
Checklist...SPOTLIGHT Lights, Camera, Action...
Now let's ACT like we LOVE God ALL on QUE!
Smiling at me, lying on me, NO SHAME, even to MY own BLOOD
REPORTING, anything that will SELL
I've CUSTOMIZED a new MAC LIP GLOSS just for you DIVA
You CONTINUALLY try to ATTACK my integrity
WHAT are you? DIVA or INNOCENT church MOUSE?
Picking out the CHOIR'S OUTFITS
What makes you think that EVERYBODY can't SEE right through YOU?
H E L L O I know about the post office, stamps, and envelopes
I even got a COMPUTER too!
FREELOADING for 13 years off MY family
Every MEAL your family EATS comes from a LADY
A MOTHER, and SHE looks just like ME
Yet you BLESS and CURSE my children's MOTHER
Hell YOU aint my GOD-SISTER, FRIEND or a BLOOD Auntie!
Your DADDY wasn't even COLD in his GRAVE
When you TOOK the insurance LOOT and bought a FUR coat
But just like a PRETENDER trying to be a BIG spender
YOU were just showing out in the NOVEMBER cold!
I HOLY DARE you DIVA to STEP to ME now
YOU can't even say AMEN so just say OUCH!
Be careful Saints SHOULD Jezebel set her sights on YOU
She likes to KILL, STEAL, & DESTROY to get HER way
But give Jezebel the WORD
And watch GOD send this evil spirit AWAY!
Be careful of this DECEPTIVE spirit
IT is very ALIVE in the church today
Remember IT is ONLY a spirit
And IT will bow,
Because JESUS is the WAY!
Now here's my BEST secret, since YOU like to keep TABS and REPORT on me
I NEVER act like my underarms don't SOMETIMES stink
BEFORE I dress, I always CONFESS
I'm what the bible calls MEEK!

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 9 The Finale

Monday 11:43am

Yeah I made it to heaven and the devil is mad

The accuser stands before God like 5 O with a badge

I live in the clouds, Satan had better get off my ass

Satan only bothers people he doesn't already have

That's how Satan does his version of the new Math

Suggestion Satan's only way of entry God's Word is his last

The enemy loves to twist scripture diverting truth from its path

He did it to Eve in Genesis and never looked back

From eternity I still see good and evil clash

Dude just raped that boy Earth didn't bat a lash

You believe Oprah is the Gospel…God you don't ask

Tuesday 9:23pm

Jesus' eyes are larger than I imagined but He is just as dear

He’s ALL inclusive speaking to "former" everybody's ears palpable and clear

When the Patriarchs walk by all the Saints cheer

The best part about heaven there are no tears

The second best part about heaven there are no fears

The third best part about heaven there are no years

Completely empty of the enemy and his negative campaign smears

Uh oh Judgment Day with the Father is very near

No time to get my story straight or chase my ands ifs, or buts, with a beer

Wednesday 12:27am

Pacing the Garden of Eden I hope God is not a drag

Got to account for the life I lived Judgment came fast

I thought God would be more formal but He lifted me on his lap

Satan hopes I'll be kicked out he's protesting in Hell's grass

A beautiful musical instrument Satan is evil's top brass

Satan fell like a SCUD missile to rule the world's trash

In heaven only what I did for Christ is going to last

Jesus looked down at Satan, Heaven beyond Him vast

I'm already in Heaven Satan is such a freaking nag

Jesus gave me "two thumbs up" "Lynn Moore" got the last laugh

Whatever you've done see it's not that bad

Jesus' blood makes you brand new just like that

Thursday 1:25am

Vexed my vantage point lets me see shore to shore

I'm a spirit now but for Earth my spirit mourns

From heaven I see arrogant rich people now humbled and poor

Doing right, having morals when did this become a bore

We praise God for real not SHOW not a chore

From heaven we see countless lives torn

If you got to make the doughnuts you're up before 4

In heaven awaits all the blessings you refuse to believe God for

Gordon Gecko was wrong about greed don’t use that door

The graveyard never fully satisfied it always wants more

Friday 2:09pm

I journal a lot in heaven, Jesus and I talk by the lake

Even in heaven a private audience for words I need to say

Jesus said I have eternity to talk starting with this day

Millions will have their chance no one is scheduled out of His way

I want to talk of things I know I did to make His heart ache

Did I keep Jesus up at night? Did I keep God up too late

Did I forgive 7x7x7 or want vengeance 8x8x8

Jesus some of those choices I didn't have to make

I opened the oven too early ruining a lot of cakes

Grace and Mercy is like acting you get more than one take

Saturday 4:44am

Face to face with God the One who built Joan Rivers

I look just like Him Wow! I really am a dead ringer

There is true equality in heaven no one has to prove they're a winner

One thing all of us share EXCEPT Jesus we're all formerly sinners

God wasn't a man but Spirit He said I'd been an excellent tipper

I did more wrong than right being saved was the zinger

The number of people I thought I would see in heaven is thinner

Where are all the "Christians" the thought lingers

I finally met my guardian angel her name was Ginger

Sunday 8:56pm

God never thought of "Lynn Moore" as a whore

He was in those motels He said don't do this no more

Are you saved? R. S.V.P. meet me at Heaven's Door

Mansions, plenty of closet space you'll dig the golden floors

My slate clean way before I made it to eternity that's the score

I dig my heavenly body it beat my fix or repair daily Ford

God lets me write my "Diary" in the clouds so I'm never bored

I'm resting in peace with my Savior Praise the Lord

We win in the End that's what This "Diary" was For


Ladies Do The Math

You knew within the first five minutes of meeting him that he could and would “talk you out of your panties” that night. You slept with him anyway against your better judgment. You’re pissed because he hasn’t returned any of your calls, texts, or letters delivered by personal messenger. You use to laugh at the women on those Lifetime Movies. Now it’s easy to see how you could be cast as the “femme fatale”. You thought you could impress him by not being like those other silly women. You thought the matronly act would make you more memorable. You looked forward to all his future calls, text messages, and moments together. Now you want to understand why something so intimate was so casual. He treated you like an errand that couldn’t wait. You laid down thinking this time it’s going to be different. I won’t hassle him, I won’t nag him, and I won’t do any of the things his last girlfriend did. What you didn’t count on was that he’s had a string of “memorable” women just like you all his life. Girl, you weren’t special. You were just a quick easy lay. So why are you still crying? You knew you couldn’t separate sex from love. It’s been 3 weeks already! He hasn’t called by now just accept that he won’t and take those ridiculous curlers out of your hair. Why are you letting yourself go over some guy you picked up while getting your annual emissions test? Now before you invite all your girlfriends to another “pity party” where you blame ALL men….PAUSE!
Go ahead and admit that you chose him long before he chose you. You knew you weren’t ready to be intimate, but you thought letting him partake of your fruit would keep him. You knew deep down that you deserved better but you settled once again for smooth talk and Red Lobster. The worst part is he pretended he left his credit card and you ended up paying for the meal. So he got shrimp and sex on account of your poor mathematical skills. You got played but it could have been avoided. Before you inhale that gallon of Chunky Chocolate chip ice cream, take a few moments to see where you went wrong.
Let me give it to you straight…..no chaser……
Most women already know the type of men they are dealing with whether they want to admit it or not. We got this neurotic idea that we can change men. Why are we in such a rush to change men but we ourselves need the most work inward and don’t want to change? Stop rolling your eyes and read on……Look at all the “BAD” relationships you’ve had! There is one common denominator. You want to know what it is? That’s right Sister, You!
Ladies you are worthy of the man God created for you not some man you picked on your own. If every man you end up with is just a copy of the last one, it should speak volumes about your issues not the other person!
It is no longer fair for women to continue to blame men for the choices we continue to make.
I challenge all women today to do some basic math.
Subtract: People who withdraw more from you than they deposit
Add: People that bring value to your life
Divide: Your time wisely. Spend more time getting to know you Multiply: The joy that comes from knowing
that no one can complete you.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

How To Look Good Naked!

How do I look good naked?
Simple, I just turn off the damn lights
I find me some spanx on sale at JC Penny's
Or get some Lycra on these cottage cheese thighs
How do I look good naked?
Fine, I got stretch marks running from end to end
I 'm a grown woman whose had two children.
I eat like I want and I don't try to squeeze a 12 into a 10!
How I do look good naked?
Fabulous, I just let my big ole gut hang
I pile up my plate
Sneak another piece of Mom's cake
And drift off to la la land!
And if my weight gets a little out of hand
I know how to get it back on track
I simply refer to the Supermodel's "code of ethics"
And pour 2 Tablespoons of Syrup of Ipecac
Now how do you look good naked?
And do you really even care?
We are all getting white robes anyway
God is giving us the exact same thing to wear
So we are all going to look good naked
When we meet in glory someday
I cannot wait to ditch these filthy rags
And walk the fiercest golden runway

The Final Act!

Every SUNDAY morning an Usher gives me a program

And shows me to my seat

I TRY to feign my displeasure when the curtains open

And the same "stage hands" attempt to PERFORM another "church" service for me!

It's the SAME "show", SAME "script", the SAME "actors" on stage every week.

BEFORE they FAKE the ungodly "Holy Funk"


I ALREADY KNOW what I'm going to see

"Performers", and they got it DOWN to a science, scriptures, songs

And the waving of the hands

But REAL spiritual discernment

Is something a "FALSE" Worshipper will not ever understand!

WE know WHO you all are.

You hang out in church in VARIOUS little "cliques".

Remember the immature "COOL" crowd 20 years ago?

Yeah the ones back in high school

That THOUGHT they were the shit!

I just can't get over the POOR leadership

WHOSE interests does the church really have at heart?

And why is a "Clique" RUNNING the ENTIRE church?

WHY do you keep giving Satan's UNDERSTUDY the LEAD part?

Yes "Performers" that is what you are

I get so tired of the same rehearsed ACT!

That HOT MESS does not even reach heaven

Read Malachi 1:10 it's there and it's a biblical FACT!

When the "STAR" Pastor gives the Benediction,

Like a trucker, I haul ass to my waiting car.

I set my Blackberry for TWO minutes

Getting away from "church" is like a real SERIOUS fire alarm!

A $1.00 I can give you, it's all I have in my purse

Hurry up ...cut to the CLOSING credits

Make it do what it do baby :-)

So I can put my Chevy Malibu in REVERSE!

God, don't you even care

Hungry wolves are DEVOURING your starving SHEEP?

The phony people are given "carte blanche" at church

And our fearless "LEADERS" still PRETEND they don't SEE!

No I am not a "CELEBRITY"

Is this why you choose to "OVERLOOK" me?

I made an appointment with the "STAR" Pastor a year ago

His STAFF claims I'm on some "LIST"

But I know I'll NEVER be seen!

SELECTING who gets to SEE the "STAR" Pastor

This CAST that doubles as HIS staff is a trip



A SMALL church down in Georgia tried to BOOK the STAR Pastor

And his church STAFF wouldn't even CALL that church back

They will FOREVER associate this PASTOR

With how his OFFENSIVE church staff ACTS

I see how this "CAST" works now

I only wish I'd known from the start

That black EMPTY hole isn't a PROP

The EVIL spirit in this church DICTATES it's EVIL heart

Now ya'll don't get me wrong

I really love the Lord

I've just begun to truly DISLIKE the "church"

Bad "actors" performing "religious" scenes on stage

Do nothing but make WORSHIP worse!

I've convinced MYSELF to try to return

And I was gone a long, long while

Everybody's still SLEEPING on the same casting couch

For that, I don't clap, and I simply REFUSE to smile!

I don't believe in the people in front of me

So I constantly bite my lower lip

"Actors" who just gloss over the bible

Deliberately not using God's HOLY script!

I see you "RUNNING" your lines in the hallway

This lets me you know that you are NOT for real

Picking out "EAR TICKLING" words from a thesaurus

Like Aretha Franklin, trying to give the AUDIENCE something we can feel!

Is this what the "church" NOW calls Anointed"?

"Actors" on SUNDAY who can't even act?

Well let me give you my "BAPTIST" middle finger :-)

And I DEMAND all my money back!

The CURTAIN is slowly closing

The casting director, JESUS is separating chaff from wheat

Lights out for your PUPPET MASTER Satan

It's God's FINAL act with your DELETED scenes!

You gave me the RIGHT hand of fellowship

It doesn't seem to matter, so I'll be QUICK & blunt

Those people LACKING God's spirit

I'm NOT following them

They just happen to be out in FRONT!

The SERMONS are about all I can handle

The dog & pony shows I can do without

Here's a helpful suggestion "church"

HIRE Jesus as your next TALENT SCOUT!

In many "MINISTRIES" today

It appears that almost ANYTHING goes

But you still DON'T have to be a "STAR" baby

To be USED in God's show

If I decide to SEE a "show"

I can barely lift my head

Lord, if this ISN'T the church I should be at

Please SEND me somewhere else to be FED

God what is a SINNER like me to do

WHERE does a disillusioned Christian go

Lead ME somewhere, anywhere

Where at least you "STAR" in the show

Did you think I was SMILING?

Hell no the "church" has CAUSED me to frown

First, FIX this sad PRODUCTION

BEFORE you open this "SHOW" in a NEW town

And if this is the BEST the church can do

Sundays, I'll gladly "FORCE" myself to stay home

Because when GOD doesn't ask for an ENCORE

You've received BAD reviews

You SUCK leave the ACTING alone!


Getting Under My Skin

Sarah Palin need I say more? I can't understand a thing this woman says. It's like listening to a dyslexic Dr. Seus riddle! Don't vote for anybody just because they happen to SHARE certain parts of your anatomy (like breasts and ovaries). Vote for them because they WILL but more importantly CAN do the job! Stay away from the moose chili!

Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity & Karl Rove if these 3 guys are LOOSE in America...Tell me, who is running hell?

I'm going to attempt to explain the DIFFERENCE between a bulletin and a blog according to me. BULLETINS are short & simple. They state what you would like the reader to know in clear & concise language (usually no more than a few sentences). Think of a bullet fired from a gun or a bank robber, (in and out)! BLOGS on the other hand, are more like you receiving incoming calls on your cell phone and the plan you have includes "unlimited" minutes. You can talk all day! Some of my friends on MySpace keep sending me blogs "diguised" as bulletins, and I just wish
you would learn the difference! (LMAO)

Soccer Moms in MINIVANS stop merging into highway traffic doing 25mph. I don't know where you could possibly be going in America that slow, but I don't have time to do the speed limit on the day you want to take Biff and Muffy to the petting zoo just because it's Tuesday. You see, I'm trying to get to ComEd BEFORE they close so they won't turn my lights off! Thanks to our CURRENT President, choosing between the lights and food was a luxury today. GUESS who won? You got it ....ComEd! You, well you're just on the road taking a Sunday drive caressing the strand of pearls your husband gave you just because ...it's Tuesday! BITE ME and get in the right lane marked for the SLOW drivers that don't have ANYTHING else to do BUT the speed limit!

For those brave first timers who INSIST on trying to learn the lingo at Starbucks by going through the drive- thru of all places. Show some compassion for people with serious "Starbucks" addictions. Go inside! So that me and most of the free world can get our much needed overpriced "MEDICINE" on time!

I really HATE those SONIC commercials but I'll be damned if that food does not always look so good!

To the kids with those stupid shoes with the wheels on the back of them (heelies), get out of my d%*m way. You are going to make me kill myself. Holy crap, you scare the hell out of me! You are like a pungent STD with no penicillin in sight. Quit rolling up on the back of my d%*m ankles in the mall and Wal-Mart. MOVE before I move you, and you can tell your Momma I said that!

Pet owners pick up when your beloved Fido craps all over the freaking sidewalk. I swear between you and those d*%m kids with those heelies shoes. I feel like I'm running an obstacle course just to get anywhere anymore! Every time I leave the house it looks like I'm playing hopscotch because YOUR dog's shit is all over the side walk!

Celebs who ONLY give me the time of day only because it's Tuesday or Friday...like us "regular" people don't know by now what those two days of the week represent!

Lindsay Lohan, Pamela Andersen, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton & all you other Hollywood starlets I've created a new fragrance just for you it is called FIRECROTCH!

For goodness sakes, take your hands-free device OFF in church. Come on it's the Sabbath! I would imagine even Jesus lets His calls go to voice mail to give God some attention, and He is sitting right next to Him. You, with that huge device on your head, you look like you are about to land the space shuttle! You couldn't possibly be that important! Be sure to tell everyone in your cell phone address book that you are in church!

What is the deal my Hispanic/Latino friends with the Easter dresses on the children in the Laundromat in the dead of winter? There is an unwritten rule between minorities and it clearly states...There will be NO EASTER DRESSES OF ANY KIND worn in the laundromat in the dead of winter!

WHY are they called apartments when they are so close together?

Applebee's, Friday's, Chili's, and other chains, I am putting you on BLAST! It takes hours to cook ribs. It takes at least 45 minutes to bake a decent potato. Yet you manage to bring me cold food every time even with an industrialized microwave oven in the back! Everybody is always running to what I assume is the "Kitchen" and I want to know what are you all doing in the "mystery" room where the food never gets HOT?

Stop with the commercials telling me to enjoy my period. Since when has having cramps, being bloated, and eating my weight in food everyday a time to rejoice? Yeah right! I would really like to take this time to say YOU SUCK! Since I was 13, every 28 days I get to look like Shrek and eat like a football player. The first day I cry like a river and swell up like I walked through a bee hive and you have the unmitigated gall to tell me to ENJOY this? What is even more tantalizing? I get 6 more days to look forward to. Thank you!

If the traits/characteristics in African-Americans are the least desired then WHY do so many others in other cultures tan, get collagen injections, take dance lessons, butt implants etc, and the list goes on to acquire the traits of African-Americans? Just wondering?

Lately why can't I discern the difference between politicians, preachers, pimps, and porn stars?

Journalists you have really done a disservice to ALL people. I used to think you had so much integrity. Now I glean more from 30 minutes of Stephen Colbert and the Daily Show than most of the network news. Sad… you spoon-feed us garbage all for the sake of ratings. It is not News…its SNEWS pronounced (snooze)!

Panhandlers with kids STOP following me to the ATM machine with that sympathy bullcrap...and looking at me with those (deer caught in the headlight) eyes. I already told you six blocks ago "I aint got it " What more do you need, a non-sufficient funds fee statement from my bank?

Fellas I believe completely in the whole metro sexuality thing, BUT you cannot be wearing our jeans ...STOP that...it is not cute! STAY OUT OF MY SECTION OF OLD NAVY!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Lighting Matches To Memories

It’s was so cold outside yesterday. The only event I was looking forward to last night was taking a hot shower, putting on my favorite pajamas, powering up my laptop, and blogging. The moment I had looked forward to all day was ruined when I noticed that the water wasn’t getting hot. On a good day, the water in my house is so hot you could fry a whole chicken and boil pasta. My suspicions were confirmed however when I could see that my pilot light had gone out. It could only happen to me and on one of the coldest nights of the year. The one thing keeping me from enjoying the perfect night, at least in my mind, is my fear of matches. Instantly I was transported back to Denham Springs, Louisiana and the time my brother set our house on fire. It was right after Christmas and my Grandmother had just given me a crate of beautiful books and a bookshelf. I loved my books, and I would read one book every night before I drifted off to sleep. My precocious brother was spoiled rotten. On this particular day my Mother would not give into his temper tantrum or his demands. In unruly defiance my brother cemented himself in my closet and thus became a pint- sized arsonist. The fire destroyed everything I’d gotten for Christmas. My beloved books my Grandmother had sent me were burned beyond recognition. I’ve been afraid of matches ever since.
For goodness sake, all I wanted to do was put soap and water on my body and a childhood fear had resurfaces. I knew that as long as I couldn’t bring myself to strike those damn matches, I would have to live with the smell coming from my body. Okay flash forward. I had a few options. I could take a cold shower, light the damn matches, or call someone. I chose the latter. I sat in the horrid stench of my armpits and waited until my handy man hero lit my fire. Isn’t it funny how you think you are over events that happened years ago and then one single event reminds you that you aren’t? It might seem ridiculous to you that I’m afraid of matches. I think maybe the matches gave me the freedom an excuse if you will that allowed me to be afraid. The books are gone, my childhood is gone, and my brother who took his life is gone. Maybe lighting the matches would signal that even after 11 years my only brother really is gone. By lighting the matches I could admit that I was angry at my brother for causing that fire that destroyed my books and a piece of my childhood. I wasn’t ready to do that. Strongholds can easily be built in our subconscious, but they must be demolished so that healing can take place.
None of me is free until all of me is free.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 8

Monday 11:52 pm

I’m starting another week nope still not dead

Even if the “S” is tarnished on my chest

My heart is protected like a Secret Service vest

Met a really nice man who insists on keeping me fed

I got AIDS but I’m still cute vanity goes to my head

A former whore has to eat for dinner we met

Regular visits to the salon AIDS doesn’t stop me from looking my best

Dinner was casual mutual attraction stored in a mental shed

Xenophobia won’t prevent me going where his Latin eyes led

He stared at my lips I think he digs the color red

No sex without a wedding ring that’s how I go to bed

My anonymous tip for lustful couples wishing to wed

Memories linger but finally I’ve let go of Jess and Ted

I feel so caged in this two story empty nest

Jess & Ted beat me to heaven but I was promiscuous with my sex

The Holiday Season approaches this will be the loneliest one yet

Do I feel lonely? Would I like some company yes

I’ve mastered hardship. I keep a 4.0GPA on hard tests

A sailor on his last tour of duty I want to be at parade rest

Tuesday 12:20 am

Dressed for my appointment don’t I look smart?

Ran my fingers across my blazer like a musician on a harp

Checking my reflection God checked my heart

Three strikes and you’re “Nurse” that needle is sharp

That nurse I got today isn’t quite up to par

Where was her degree obtained? She don’t look too smart

She kept missing my veins not good for my heart

If this damn doctor takes any longer I’m headed to my car

I fidget in the waiting room my thoughts travel far

Shit I forgot my Beano excuse me while I fart

Gas is a natural bodily function even if it breaks the charts

A lady doing unladylike things online with a naughty shopping cart

Wednesday 10:59pm

More than ever believing in dreams is a must

A former, a black man elected President, things are looking up

Some want the contents not the cup

White ivory on an elephant’s tusks

My face the day America chose a colored face to trust

Hope is like WD-40 applied so my dreams won’t rust

I listen to Boyz II Men Nate is the fine I got a crush

Not planning on dating, fantasies well hidden like a squirrel hoarding nuts

Kegal exercises make everything tight especially my butt

My hair still colored black. I untangle it with a wire brush

My rambunctious Shih Tzu Ginger thinks she’s tough

If the little bitch keeps peeing in the house a cold winter outside will be rough

Thursday 7:22pm

The secret of my success, fail until I succeed

CNN keeps them honest exposing culprits of corporate greed

Anderson Cooper is a “silver fox” his strut is mean

My personal chef uses EVOO instead of grease

This former whore could use a bailout but a cure for AIDS is what I need

Tears of never finding a remedy flow like a stream

The Liberal media helps me digest the GOP’s nasty leaks

I’m allergic to death it’s like an invasive dust making me sneeze

Cures need money not handshakes, speeches and dreams

I want more years but I got only a few weeks

Whatever I’ve fought for is worth more than I lost it seems

I wish I’d been more of lady than a paid tease

But which “John” is responsible for sowing dirty semen into me

I sleep on my stomach now my back hurts from receiving “Johns” seed

I ran through men like loaded bases onan All Star team

Now a hazardous waste bin for my dirty needles lies at my feet

Friday 10:38am

Early onset dementia transports me to a medieval fable

Maybe I’ll get an Oscar for my supporting role with Clark Gable

I wanted to get up today I don’t think I’ll be able

Pain has frozen me solid I yell for my hospice nurse Mable

Fuzz has started to grow on my navel

Reaching for my medication 20 pill containers on my night table

I’m drinking blueberry pancakes through a straw with warm syrup that’s maple

It’s amazing what I get done from home with a laptop and cable

It’s so cold in Iowa the coat I wear faux sable

I’d like to move to Florida to the city of Naples

Saturday 7:52pm

I said a tearful goodbye to the girls boy did it hurt

I got a beautiful plaque to show my worth

I make amends with everyone to whom I’d been a jerk

I even prayed for the soul of the “John” that was a Turk

I saw the Death Angel on the morning of the Fourth

I wish I had more time to make my life work

My parents are in town right now they are at church

Mother still knits. Father cries wearing a Find A Cure shirt

Both praying I make it and an empty casket isn’t 6ft in the dirt

A white dove outside my window on the ledge he perched

I’ll be exchanging death for heaven with the idea I flirt

I remember my babies one aborted, the other dead at birth

Sunday 8:00pm

My body betrayed me I’m thinking about him too

I enjoy his friendship I plus I think he’s cool

Wish I could reset life’s stopwatch back a sin or two

Then live out loud the way I always wanted to

He’s unaware of my illness maintaining privacy is hard to do

I’m addicted to his presence like foreign fuel

Every time I see him I say hold my mule

I need a safe place to tell my truth

8 is the number of starting new

I hid my “Diary” beneath a church pew

After I’m gone, Random House publish what I’ve written for you

Affairs are in order towards heaven I move

I delete my MySpace account I had 8,888,888 views

Dressed in my “Home Going” clothes, I removed my shoes

Death is near I read the spiritual clues

Angel of death hovers over me with a voice that soothes

Breathed my last “Lynn Moore” a former whore gone too soon

I couldn’t beat death my legacy lives in my “Diary” row 222

Heaven is so kickass. Heaven is wild like a peaceful zoo

The pimp in the velvet vest made it to heaven too

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 7

Monday 1:01am

Dilated eyes fixed on the podium big like a deer

In my estimation I've earned the girl’s tears

Transparency cancels pretense an eased conscience wearable and sheer

I hammer the ladies with anecdotes of the past and recent years

Sharing individual stories are shared over Kleenex and hugs not pretzels and beer

Sex, lies, and videotape maybe too much for an "untouched" virgin's ears

The secrets in this room beg for a politician's campaign to smear

Sisters openly discussing everything no subject is a road we won't veer

Holding hands through our darkness so the "light" at the end of the tunnel for all is clear

Convinced that triumph is attainable in unison, we rise and cheer

Tuesday 2:02am

Born at different times, yet our souls are the same age

They give me purpose keep me on an even page

I'm still cute and Power Point earns me a livable wage

Helping consumes the void where there was only hate

Agape love won't be confined or locked in a cage

Life, the place you don't get to practice before you go on stage

The pressure of living is too hard to gauge

Spontaneous combustion is possible given enough rage

If I can get one girl through this day

She will get up tomorrow and stare a bright future in the face

We are all molded by the "Great Potter" fashioned out of marred clay

AIDS hasn't claimed me after "HIS" righteousness I chase

Victory came by learning the error of my ways

Now I go to life instead of work and still get paid

No longer condemned by the choices I made

I continue helping young girls feel the same

I teach them about the man with the unforgettable name

Jesus Christ, the healer of all my pain

The eraser of all my shame

This Jewish man responsible for all my "foreign" aid

Like Barack Obama I vow to finish a "historical" race

Locked on target like my man Max Payne

Krispy Kreme doughnuts that unforgettable glaze

I eat a whole dozen fat grams can't take joy's place

Wednesday 3:03pm

I use to pray as often as I paid the water bill

God seemed like a distant relative, not a Father I could feel

The course before me a mountain not a mole hill

"He" forgave me after the life I've lived, the blood I spilled

Dying to belong when it was sinful desires I had to kill

Regret is a quota I hope I never fill

If guilt could I know “it” would send me a bill

Check my till

Not empty still

I was born with an unrelenting will

To live abundantly, go to heaven then chill

I'm still cute, reclaiming my life right now is my latest thrill

Thursday 4:04am

Like a ravaging cancer that has spread to my other breast

Negative thoughts still creep assaulting my rest

Dreams of my youth wasted with a pimp in a velvet vest

I laugh at AIDS thinking it's my final test

Money divides classes of people, but sex adds them in the same bed

The naughty deal done we fly back to our segregated nests

Friday 5:05am

Most of the men I slept with, if known would headline tomorrow's news

Hush money did more than make me quiet it coerced me to be mute

I was always fearful that my skeletons will jump out and say boo

"Lynn Moore" is my real name but "whore" was the "one" I answered to

The "John's" who paid for me had the power sex was a power tool

Benjamin Franklin gave me my cues

Thousands of 3 minute love affairs no wonder my body feels used

Say what you want, I paid some hefty dues

"John" or "Jane" can’t throw money and get me to what they want me to do

Legal living pays the least a clear conscience and pays dividends never taught in school

Getting up and going to life, not work, a 401K with eternal returns cool

The "she" living in my head evicted on the 12th of June

I served "her" notice after the Holy Spirit challenged "her' to a duel

All my "demons" have been exorcised, drowning in redemption's pool

Salvation is a choice. Sanctification is an entirely different process too

I don't need the comfort of a man I can make it through

Feeling so good I assassinated my flesh it was the perfect coup

Smiles linger on my face like early morning dew

"Lynn Moore" the former whore, journaling new rules

Saturday 6:06pm

An election season at the end, things start to get colder

Changing like John McCain as I scour my new client's folders

Seated in eerie silence feigned toughness rolls like a Colorado boulder

The sullen face of one girl strikes me mentally I reach out to hold her

Condemnation over everything "she" is the clay that molds her

Refusing to give up, I repeat they shall live their lives like its golden

Life comes full circle. The more you know you grow a little bolder

Sunday 7:07am

Journaling thoughts helps me understand what all of this means

Gripping the rails skating in small circles afraid to let go in the rink

Falling still trying to hold on I get up and don't blink

Some things I did because I could, others because I didn't think

Swallowing pills sensing good and bad angels on the scene

The whole bottle I didn't want to feel another thing

Bad angels chased me to death. Good angels chased life back into me

The entire bottle I still managed to stand on my feet

AIDS lies dormant basically balled up in a sheet

Jesus is wholly responsible for "Lynn Moore" needs

I'm cured of my "Fetish" I can't wear your clothes anymore Eve

No more paw prints I cover my tattoos with tailored sleeves

I purr like a conservative Republican not a liberal Democrat in a frenzied heat

Before I dress I caress good vibes positive words feel better than tweed

Weren't you ever taught that "nothing" is what it seems

The mind wanders to places never knowing where those places lead

Are you baffled at how a "whore" could be exonerated of murder in 7 weeks

Imagine my face when I realized this "Diary" was a 49 day dream

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 6

Monday 8:32 pm

Happiness is the pool I'd really like to drown

A fatal prognosis is why I frown

I'm so lost I doubt I'll ever be found

3 "familiar faces haunt my conscious now

A velvet vest, camouflage and "her" every time I look around

The dreams I had were worth writing down

Even nightmares find my journal a great place to lounge

God insists on talking but I tune Him out

My past still has the louder mouth

It whispers so low that I think it's loud

Going back is North and moving up is South

My compass constantly points to doubt

Hospice nurses all over my house

Consistently missing my veins ….ouch

Tuesday 5:21 am

A faded picture of "her" in a silver frame

When Lynn Moore was "her" name

"She" was still cute but never that vain

"Her" beautiful face looked the same

Why had "she" darkened her gorgeous mane

The little sanity I have left doesn't feel sane

My anger bridled like a sedated animal finally tame

Mixed feelings of hurting "her" make me feel lame

My only intent only was to maim

Then the rules of engagement began to change

If only the "pimp hadn't changed "her" name

She wouldn't have left and aborted baby "Shane"

I had come for "her" and hopefully to claim

Poetic justice from this mesmerizing dame

Maybe forgiveness a new target at which to aim

Wednesday 12:38 am

Cut the crap and cut the check

Since "I" took over Amari's is the best

7 whole days and "business" hasn't been slow yet

Words from the velvet-vested "one" to the picture of the chef

Katt Williams heard the "pimp" distress signal, I escaped death

Got to get ready for the "Playa's Ball…pimps never rest

My velvet –vest was bulletproof, the bullet was a failed test

There was never a "body" with "her" head I wanted to mess

The men in the suits were sent by me not….Feds

I've been watching the "whore", I know "she" killed Jeff

The menu for tonight whore and ex- boyfriend dead

Like a wrongfully convicted felon, I always pay my debts

I'll "smoke" both their asses and I'll jet

Just like Jess

From prison, I got him "hooked on Meth

Maybe I’ll cage them both like pets

The "mood" oh I’ll definitely I'll set

I'll be the best "John" "she" ever met

She can't get rid of me I'm in "her" head

"Her" the name "whore" when "she" laid on Roe v. Wade's bed

Thursday 6:19 pm

Transgressions have again landed me in a quagmire

Will 4 deadly letters finally let me retire

My life is a landmine and I'm the tripwire

Of the Lord I now wanted to inquire

I put on extra strength deodorant so I wouldn't perspire

Nervous like I'm walking blindfolded on a circus high wire

Between God and "I" not sure what would transpire

I was "thirsty" for change like a vampire

A smile that was probably my best attire

Now of me just what would God require

"Our" meeting left a lot to desire

He told me some things that would certainly inspire

Friday 9:23 pm

The time had come for me to alleviate

With my past, I no longer wanted to negotiate

From the school of hard knocks I evaluate

The "past" keeps chasing me so, I must abbreviate

A take home test so I can graduate

God is the "One" who will officiate

Would I do what "He" said, I must demonstrate

Now I do not want to insinuate

Those things I've done I'll deviate

Sometimes mitigating circumstances extenuate

The idea of settling the score I infatuate

The last steps to total "freedom" I initiate

Ending the terror from the velvet vest associate

Saturday 8:48 am

God and I are speaking now, I found myself back in church

I laid on the altar and sacrificed my life and hurts

I didn't miss a beat. I turned right to the verse

Even had an "above your tithes" offering in my purse

Hadn't seen a sanctuary since Ted was in that hearse

Testimony service ran over 30 minutes, but I did not curse

I told the Lord I was sorry for all it's worth

When I got up from the altar, I no longer felt like dirt

I decided to iron my past like a wrinkled shirt

When the pimp came for me I watched "his "blood spurt

This time it wasn't "her" a cop got to him first

My chances of getting into heaven the bubble just burst

Sunday 9:21pm

It's not "me" it's the pills

Having AIDS has certainly made "me" ill

It's the "intimate" stranger that I don't want to feel

So much medicine my urine is teal

But I'm still cute, so I learn to deal

I gobble those meds like a 4th meal

Life and death are on a date and I'm the 3rd wheel

The "cop" rushed to my side instantly I could feel

Hate, "he" once had for me, broken by an impenetrable seal

On the way to my house, Jesus had changed "his" heart a clean kill

"We" both began to seek the Lord with a highly flammable zeal

Peace protected "us" like a sin retardant shield

I finally put my foot on Satan's neck and dug in my heel

Now I don't get the urge to run from God I kneel

Lord "fix" it was all I said. "He" said I AM God "Lynn" still

At last I found an "unconditional" love. But is "this" real

To Be Continued…

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 5

Monday 1:00 am

I'm fighting my way back to mentoring and those troubled teens

I sense the devil pitching another curve ball, but it is seen

So John 16:33 is the verse I read

I see Dr. Ted every couple of weeks

An hour "mental" makeover, reveals the beauty in me

Dr. Ted prescribed an extra sleeping pill for me….peace

Raised in the suburbs but my "street" smarts are keen

We discuss "some" of the things" she" does that are mean

I gave up smoking, got my tobacco stained teeth cleaned

Addicted to "His' eyes. I may have to be weaned

Call my beautician, make an appointment to extend & color my weave

All of a sudden Dr. Ted makes house calls on my street

The "voices", are silenced by the meds, the killings have ceased

But "she" creeps up every now and again demanding release

Kidnapped by Dr. Ted's looks, I hold his face hostage in my dreams

I long to "look" at Ted but I'm afraid "she'll” see

The bases fully loaded. I can't hit the "run" for my team

The FBI questioned me about a body they have no "solid" leads

Tuesday 7:32pm

"He" treats me like a queen always paying

I vow to remain a "lady" in waiting

The shame of once being a whore fading

"He" likes to take me skating

"Jess" …the earlier version of me not breaking

A comatose heart is waking

Look at the time it's taking

For a "new" batch of love that's baking

Being open to love scares me that's all I'm saying

This time it is not a role I'm playing

With my "John's" I was always faking

With "him" a love built on friendship is what we're making

My ring, the jeweler is plating

A "timeless" sign that "he'll" be staying

Our love "session" ends and I'm aching

Dr. Ted and I are dating

Again….God sent me…A King

Those jealous nurses who’d had so much wit, are hating

Wednesday 10:19am

Satan ordered the hit. "He" hired a good shot

Afraid to kill Ted no "he's not

A "stealth" detective in our attic loading bullets on a cot

"He’s” very secure with the surveillance he got

Poking around for information, somehow got botched

A high stakes game of "connect" the deadly dots

Led Ted to a coroner's parking lot

Unlucky 7 7 7 in a casino slot

21 bullets X marks the spot

Making sure Ted was dead the "killer" watched

I've accepted burying my loved one's as "my" lot

But I'm still cute with another life insurance check on my notch

In Thursday's police blotter Ted's name was at the top

The "smoking" gun is still hot

The "pig" that fried Ted's bacon is a dirty cop

I bought me a nickel bag of pot

What do you have to say to me now God

Thursday 3:41pm

Forced to get out of bed on this day

I'm assigned a Victim's Advocate. Her name is Kay

Death was the price for Ted's life, and somebody needed to pay

I'm so angry at God. I've forgotten how to pray

If the "Almighty" knocks on my door, I'm not responsible for what I say

He commands that I be "still" while a "busy" killer waits

Death keeps asking me out, so why shouldn't we date

May the invitations to my funeral fall where they may

One more tragic loss, a one way ticket destination grave

Misery makes my "soul" dirty, I fired my "spiritual " maid

You’re so quiet God? Because you have nothing to say

When the Grim Reaper sends for me, I'll be wide awake

Thanks for nothing God! I'll move mountain my own way

I feel "her" making a comeback I'm holding "her" at bay

The weapons formed against me have prospered any way

Friday 4:01pm

The answer to the question why

My past made the sky the limit & the limit the sky

God doesn't really care about the tears in my eye

He sits in heaven doing nothing, watching me cry

He promised things would be different if I gave Him my life

It's His abandonment keeping me company at night

I thought God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit & I were tight

I don't share His vision. I don't see His light

Darkness I clearly see. It's the "light" making me blind

Gospel truths are mixed with "worldly" lies

The "world" gets their fair share, God holds on to mine

My spirit is decomposing in a crawl space concealed by caustic lime

Hungry like the wolf I took a few bites

My T-Cell count was abnormal. Are "we" going to die

Never getting a break ever in life is my plight

I feel like an unaccompanied "soul" with no angels in sight

Can AZT preserve me……the doctors think it might

Saturday 12:27 pm

Killing is the "stimulant" that made "her" high

"He" was "sweet" as pie

About to be divided by himself, like a number that's prime

The "one" that cut 'her" off at the traffic light

The "fag" called her "fish" she called the "fag" fried

The only reasons "she" could give for killing this "sweet" guy

Like Keisha in New Jack City" rock a bye

'She" measured once and cut twice

Not enough like 2 packs of soy sauce surrounded by mounds of rice

One more wound to get the "kill" just right

So she "dotted" his eye

The "sugar" in his tank dissolved like ice

He sang like a Soprano in the key of dead when he died

Branded "D" for deceased, "She" tanned his hide

Lynn is too scared, so "I" handle her fights

That "fairy" rests for all eternity a man-purse by his side

"She" had snuffed out a "3rd" life

Lynn get a clue…in "her" diary, "she" writes

A, D, S Guess "who" is the missing I

Health is God's "losing" gift, AIDS is my "winning" prize

Sunday 3:15am

Hiding out in an abandoned shack

Scurrying really fast

$4.25 per gallon mileage eat up "his" gas

"He" scampers like a rat

A computer scientist with a license to hack

Gave "him" the information he lacked

Whenever "he" meets up with "her", 1 "icy" hello void of tact

With the devil's All-Star line-up, "he" made a pact

Missing more than a 'few" free throws like Shaq

Armed with a rental car and a map

"Lynn" wasn't hard to track

Look for the Samoan "trick" with extensions colored black

Hell bent with one fact

A whore & a pimp, "his" baby was whacked

"He" shot "someone" in a velvet vest….right in the back

Now you tell me? "Who" is the Mack

"He’s” a dirty "cop". The case closes from evidence lack

Sewn over "his" right breast pocket, a Pro-Life patch

A Government issued M-16 in the hands of a quack

An honorably discharged Marine, hoorah ready to kick some ass

Semper Fi …the "jarhead" is home from Iraq

To Be Continued....

The Diary of A Former Whore PT 4

Monday 3:37am

Gun in my face, what to do now

Charm won't work here so I begin to pout

"She" said… kill the enemy or slow him down

I'm in my sheer nightgown and a clown's in my house

He snarled “don't move” “ don't open” your mouth

From the way "he" moved, I could tell he had gout

I looked for a weapon, none was found

He handed me my journal and said write this down

Eyes pierced through me with a beguiling frown

I wondered what "he" was going to do now

He secured my wrists and threw me on the couch

I still needed a weapon. I glanced around

Before he took his "Johnson" out

A hanker chief drenched in chloroform covered my mouth

After this, there was no sound

Till this day, no suspects match the description of a rapist clown

The woman that whispered to me? Who made those sounds

Tuesday 9:28am

When I heard the alarm clock, I hit snooze

With all that happened, I found solace in booze

My body had healed but my soul was bruised

Kate called. She suggested a cruise

She learned of my brutal rape on the 6:00 news

Lead story: A former whore singing the blues

I headed to Jamaica with other "desperate" women to schmooze

All of the men looked expendable, only one will lose

"She" rummaged around looking for one to choose

"She" fancied "him" weak, just someone to use

Blood tainted with hate boiled, and started to ooze

Spotted the "one" worth talking to

Little did "we" know, it was "him", and he had spotted "us" too

Wednesday 8:05pm

Somehow, I thought I knew his face

Features so familiar yet hard to trace

With fruity alcoholic beverages, he and I make our way

To a secluded beach we reclined on a chaise

He slipped a "roofie" in my drink that day

Sinister plans designed to make me pay

Revenge is sweet, "he" repeated the phrase

When I came to, I was amused and a little bit dazed

Someone jolted me from my "date-rape" haze

My eyes grew listless but "hers" appeared glazed

There was another "side" to me and "she" looked crazed

"She" took over and I was amazed

She gnarled at God, You and Lynn were a fleeting phase

A killer doesn't have much time to praise

With gasoline and matches she set the clown ablaze

"She" crept back into Lynn's mind like a memory that fades

Thursday 3:39pm

He moved like an ancient robot

Applying Aveeno SP 45 sun block

I protected my Samoan skin from sunspots

Human ashtrays we smoked a lot

The segregated sex I wanted to boycott

I thought I hit the jackpot

Walked like he was constipated…not hot

After all that "mackin" and what not

He never found the right spot

I filtered grainy snapshots

Of SVU showing me mug shots

He leered at me his eyes were bloodshot

A "familiar" voice within earshot

But pinning the tail on the donkey he could not

Memories "she" started to unblock

Trepidation was the feeling Lynn begot

"She" killed Charles with a big rock

And stuffed him in a lock box

Buried him in a good spot

8am 11:20pm

The vegetables steamed the entrée: roast

He wore expensive trousers and a embroidered cloak

To your demise "she" silently toasts

I'm gonna enjoy killing this English bloke

"She" tied his freckled hands with rope

Ironically, she granted "him" one final grope

"She" lifted the knife for the final blow

Edward died suddenly of a stroke

Facing water on a grassy slope

I nudged him slowly, and watched "him" go

With lightening speed, I caught the last ferry boat

Back in my hotel, I immersed in a tub with soap

Grey Goose, Newport's and my hand elope

Would "she" stop after 2 murders…..nope

Sweet revenge replaced "her" hope

And God became her cruelest joke

Was it reality or was it dope

Who is it that washes away sexual sins? I'll contact the Pope

Saturday 1:54pm

Lynn's journal makes for an interesting read

Fate had been so unfair to "her" and me

Lynn started to become undone, unable to speak

When "I" take over, I'll set "Lynn free

Lynn started to resemble a peach

Soft and fuzzy with nectar so sweet

An unwilling student I'm obliged to teach

Lynn's God still hung onto her like a leech

"She" shouted at God, Lynn will never see

“She" wrote what 'she" wanted Lynn's life to be

We're so cute and I do mean we

"She" started filling in pages in this former whore's diary

Sunday 7:13pm

In the Green Haven "facility", I was chained to a bed

Mentoring on hold until I get some rest

With any warning, lights would burn out in my head

200mg of Lithium 2 x a day the doctor said

Allowed out of my restraints only to be fed

Schizo-Affective Disorder on my progress notes scribbled Dr. Ted

A menacing "voice" silenced only when I take my meds

Men dressed in black with badges ….feds

"Someone" had surfaced in a velvet vest

The body “appeared” to be dead

To Be Continued…